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Most people have sexual fantasies. However, sometimes people feel guilty or even embarrassed of their fantasies – even if there is nothing remotely problematic about the people or scenarios they are fantasizing about.
The good news is that there’s no need to feel shame. In fact, erotic fantasies can be a positive thing for your relationship with your partner, and they can empower you in your sexual journey.
No matter where you are at in your relationship, fantasies can play a healthy and important role in your love life.
Here are eight reasons why your sexual fantasies may actually be a good thing.
Dive deeper on this topic:Your sexual fantasies may be more problematic than you realize
Don’t shy away from your fantasies. Here’s why:
- Fantasies keep your sexuality alive. Fantasies can keep your mind and body primed for sex even when you’ve had a long day or gone a while without seeing your partner.
- Fantasies are illuminating. Your fantasies can help you to explore your hidden desires and illuminate what you really crave.
- Fantasies bring you closer. When you share fantasies with your partner and talk about the things that turn you on, you will not only improve your sex life, but you will build deeper levels of intimacy and connection.
- Fantasies help you take charge of your sexual side. When you fantasize, you awaken your desire. Your fantasies might inspire you to try something completely different.
- Fantasies can liven up a date night. Sometimes couples get stuck in a rut. Put fantasies on the table and put the kid-talk on the back burner for the night.
- Fantasies keep you creative. The next time you want to surprise your partner, think outside the box. Write down a sexy story describing what you have in mind for later that night.
- Fantasies push away non-sexual thoughts. During sex you might find that your mind drifts off to your busy schedule or to the errands on your to-do list. When that happens, you can simply switch back into fantasy mode and spark sexual feelings.
- Fantasies keep things interesting. Whether you have a sexy superhero fantasy or you want to have sex outdoors, acting out your fantasies can help to keep your sex life ever-evolving. And that’s always healthy!
More advice on your sex life, relationships:
The orgasm gap is real for women, studies show:But it can be fixed.
Are you looking for sex or intimacy? There’s a difference.
More:How do I tell my partner I don’t feel like having sex?
Have you been thinking about foreplay all wrong? Here’s what you may be missing.
Help, I’m in a sexless marriage:‘I’ve thought about leaving a million times but I’m still here’
Dr. Laura Berman is a world-renowned sex, love and relationship therapist. She earned two masters degrees and a Ph.D. from New York University, and is New York Times best-selling author of nine books and an award-winning syndicated radio host. She currently hosts the popular love and sex advice podcast “The Language of Love.” You can find her on Facebook, Instagram and her website.
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